The Opposite Thinker

When I write this, my feeling was like roller coaster. Do you ever feel like when your home never feel like home? It more like a hell to me. The hottest hell in the highest level. I am actually have nothing to write because all I can feel is I want scream and throw anything around me. But I also know, writing is the only heal to reduce my anger. Did I tell you before that my relationship with my family is not good? Oops, sorry. Even word 'good' still too good to describe it. The word should be 'bad' instead of good. Since I always in the opposite opponent, of course no one stand in my side. So here is what happen to me. Since morning the girls act and behave to ignoring me. I really knew it from their gesture. And me... as the most selfish and stubborn person ever , I choose to 'okay, let's play the game!' I am not a person who will ask them with sad face, "Did I do something wrong?" or try to being nice to them until they also nice to ...

I will put my self in the first row of everything. My self is my main priority. Not because of I deserve it, but it is my rights. When the world say that you have to put social interests first than your private interests, they fully wrong. Put ourselves first in everything . I don't fuckin' care about social, family, relatives, friends or anyone else. I only care about my self . My rights is I deserve the happiest thing first than others. My rights is I can buy anything I want with my own money without thinking about other and what other thinking about me. My rights is I can be a bad listener anytime I want. I won't let my self to too much thinking about other's problem. My rights is I can say no anytime to anyone when I don't want to help. My rights is I won't let my stuff borrowed when I don't feel to lend it.