Enough & Insensitive

How to overcome deep anger? SPILL IT OUT. But how if you don't have a 'tools' to spill that out? Since not long time ago, I tried to write it down. Cause why? I need to release it to make my self and my mood better. Even now I have more important thing to do but I know I can't do it well if this feeling still around. Again, it's about her. I'm sick of her. Okay, I know I'm useless but do you ever feel like where you are in the level that you are enough with her? I'm enough with her unfriendly face. I'm enough the way she humiliate me. I'm enough with the way she made me more useless. If yesterday I try to put my highest level of patience on her, now, I won't. I won't act good on her anymore, I won't pretend everything is okay and still be nice with her anymore when she made me so useless in front of others. Let her think I'm rude. Let her think I'm bad. Let her think I'm the most useless person of human being in the world. Let her think whatever she want. I don't fucking care anymore. And if she want to spread this to anyone she know and make them believe like what she said, LET THEM BE. I'm in the point "HELLO, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME". So, I did this to self as the action of 'I don't care what you say'. I quiet more, I join less. And I'm being insensitive to anything happen around me. I make my self not like actually myself. It's sad but that's the side effect of 'immunizing'. Because the only way to make my self not hurted more, not humiliated more, not blamed more is being INSENSITIVE.

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

My Selfish Rights

I will put my self in the first row of everything. My self is my main priority. Not because of I deserve it, but it is my rights. When the world say that you have to put social interests first than your private interests, they fully wrong. Put ourselves first in everything . I don't fuckin' care about social, family, relatives, friends or anyone else. I only care about my self . My rights is I deserve the happiest thing first than others. My rights is I can buy anything I want with my own money without thinking about other and what other thinking about me. My rights is I can be a bad listener anytime I want. I won't let my self to too much thinking about other's problem. My rights is I can say no anytime to anyone when I don't want to help. My rights is I won't let my stuff borrowed when I don't feel to lend it.
Baca selengkapnya

You Irritated Me, I Will Irritated You More

When I write this, my feeling was like roller coaster. Do you ever feel like when your home never feel like home? It more like a hell to me. The hottest hell in the highest level. I am actually have nothing to write because all I can feel is I want scream and throw anything around me. But I also know, writing is the only heal to reduce my anger. Did I tell you before that my relationship with my family is not good? Oops, sorry. Even word 'good' still too good to describe it. The word should be 'bad' instead of good. Since I always in the opposite opponent, of course no one stand in my side. So here is what happen to me. Since morning the girls act and behave to ignoring me. I really knew it from their gesture. And me... as the most selfish and stubborn person ever , I choose to 'okay, let's play the game!' I am not a person who will ask them with sad face, "Did I do something wrong?" or try to being nice to them until they also nice to ...
Baca selengkapnya